‘La Isla Bonita’ – Madonna
I feel, mentally and emotionally, very ill because I betrayed Flash. I wrote back to him (we are now called The Barnsley Theatre Company instead of The Situation), but on the verge of going crazy, I went to Student Counselling and saw the college counsellor/psychiatrist about my feelings of anxiety, guilt and concern over the Ritcherd/Flash/Dodo situation. The counsellor, Len, described the problem as ‘Piggy in the Middle’. He said I’m the Piggy. He said if I split up with either of them, I should split with Dodo as it would not induce as much mental trauma as a split from Flash would. He also said I should try + talk things over with Flash and tell him EXACTLY what I feel at the time I feel it. He also said that Flash’s ‘Ritcherd, please finish with Dodo’ attitude is selfish. ‘But I stole his girlfriend’ I said. Len said that I’m just making excuses for other people rather than taking my own journey, making my own choices and learning from my mistakes. He said I’d stand up 4 Flash’s position and attitudes whether they were right or wrong. He advised me to do what I want to do in life. He says I should always do WHAT I FEEL. I realise I have been constantly depressed since November 1986. Dodo time. Thus, I must bring myself out of it. I’m going back to see him soon. Thank you, Len; you helped.
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NEXT TIME: ‘Red wine…’