The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Wednesday, 25 March 1987

Counselling

‘La Isla Bonita’ – Madonna





I feel, mentally and emotionally, very ill because I betrayed Flash.  I wrote back to him (we are now called The Barnsley Theatre Company instead of The Situation), but on the verge of going crazy, I went to Student Counselling and saw the college counsellor/psychiatrist about my feelings of anxiety, guilt and concern over the Ritcherd/Flash/Dodo situation.  The counsellor, Len, described the problem as ‘Piggy in the Middle’.  He said I’m the Piggy.  He said if I split up with either of them, I should split with Dodo as it would not induce as much mental trauma as a split from Flash would.  He also said I should try + talk things over with Flash and tell him EXACTLY what I feel at the time I feel it.  He also said that Flash’s ‘Ritcherd, please finish with Dodo’ attitude is selfish.  ‘But I stole his girlfriend’ I said.  Len said that I’m just making excuses for other people rather than taking my own journey, making my own choices and learning from my mistakes.  He said I’d stand up 4 Flash’s position and attitudes whether they were right or wrong.  He advised me to do what I want to do in life.  He says I should always do WHAT I FEEL.  I realise I have been constantly depressed since November 1986.  Dodo time.  Thus, I must bring myself out of it.  I’m going back to see him soon.  Thank you, Len; you helped.







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NEXT TIME: ‘Red wine…’

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