The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Thursday, 5 February 1987

Dramas and Omens


My No.1: ‘Performance’ – Japan

Hello!  Welcome to Thursday, folks!  How’s tricks? 

Magic, eh? 



Magic?  Eh?  Eh? 

Magic?  Eh?  Eh?

Reader: FUCK OFF!

MR WATSON – FEED THE WORLD!



And now, as an added bonus, I present a brand new piece of theatrical extravagance…

College Drama
by Jez DeCarlo and Ritcherd Winterfood.



(Scene: College corridor.

Solitary, clad in black, hair over their faces, Ritcherd  and ROGER are looking as miserable as possible.

ENTER a dead happy Sheeny* STUDENT.)



STUDENT:                            

Hello, chaps!



RITCHERD :                         

Hello.



ROGER:                                

Hello.



STUDENT:                            

Oh, come on!  Cheer up, it may never happen.



RITCHERD  & ROGER:      

Fuck off, Sheeny!



(STUDENT promptly gobbed to death by irate Ritcherd and ROGER.)



THE END



* ‘Sheeny’: Trendy/Casual/Smoothy.  As in: I’m so smooth you could ski off me.  Smooth, polished = use of Mr Sheen: Sheeny!



Today, Roger and I dossed a lot.  Notable by her absence from the Common Room was Wendy.  Roger and I were wondering what her answer might be.  Later, when I was in lesson, Roger spoke to her and she seemed embarrassed, but her friends said she ought to go out with me.  In the Common Room later, her friends dragged her over to Roger and me.  I didn’t know what to say.  Neither did she.  So we split our ways.  Later, Roger asked her out for me as I got on the bus to come home.  She said ‘YES’! 

Roll on, tomorrow…



'Angel Eyes' – Roxy Music

It’s 8.37pm and I’m worried.  I think there’s something desperately wrong at Flash’s end of the world.  He still hasn’t replied to my letters, and just now my ‘Party of the Century: Feb 14thSituation poster (which I designed) has just fallen down off the wall.  It may sound stupid, but I’m scared.  Honestly.  I hope everything’s okay.  It’s just that everything seems like a bad omen.  Flash?!  If ever I felt he was in danger, or that I was ‘losing’ him, it’s now.  I’d like to ring him, but something’s holding me back.  Let everything be okay.



‘FLASH!  RING ME…

WRITE TO ME…

TELL ME EVERYTHING’S OKAY!’







FLASH ?
 
IS GORDON OKAY??



[it transpires that this was, in fact, an omen of things to come… - Future Ritcherd ]




[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]



NEXT TIME: ‘Hassle (General)…’

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