NEW YEAR’S EVE!
THE LAST DAY OF ’86!
‘Moss Garden’ – David Bowie
MY TOP ALBUMS IN 1986
Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band – The Beatles
The Beatles – The Beatles
Never For Ever – Kate Bush
Beauty Stab – ABC
Chimera – Bill Nelson
The Hounds of Love/The Ninth Wave – Kate Bush
Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence – Ryuichi Sakamoto
Machine Age Voodoo – SPK
Hunky Dory – David Bowie
Standing On a Beach – The Cure
Mask – Bauhaus
Low – David Bowie
Aladdin Sane – David Bowie
Flaunt It – Sigue Sigue Sputnik
Hatful Of Hollow – The Smiths
The World of David Bowie – David Bowie
The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars – David Bowie
Diamond Dogs – Bowie
God’s Own Medicine – The Mission
Gone To Earth – David Sylvian
Ziggy Stardust: The Motion Picture – David Bowie
It’s about 6.15pm…
We went to Leeds today, did Dodo + Flash + Matthew and me. I bought some tight black jeans + a sleeveless grey, green and red Jesus and Mary Chain t-shirt (the first one of that type to be sold in Leeds – ever!).
Anyway, Dodo + her little cousin went back to Lincoln (where Dodo moved up from) tonaight, and Flash and I are about to begin our next SITUATION tape…
The evening progressed and we completed our tape.
The time was accomplished…
That’s it. The end. 1980 Kicks died. All over. No more. No more of the stuff…
BMW… Astra… Hazel… Flash… Dodo… Sophie… Cheggers… Phoebe… Stan… Melba… Alison… Jen… Nicky… Angie… Wetlands… the ‘Summer’ ‘Holiday’… Love…
I’m sorry to end the year in a fast, frivolous way, but the last few days have said what I really wanted to say. I hope so, anyway…
At the moment, I feel happy/sad, y’know… usual sort of thing… My year has been long and hectic and I’m glad to finish it off at Flash’s…
happy new year to my loved ones… what does it hold in store? The Day of Reckoning? A newer Winterfood? We’ll see!
Afterword by Alison Ford
[or A LOAD OF JEFF! – Ritcherd 1987]
[definitely A LOAD OF JEFF! – Ritcherd 1988]
[or, perhaps, The Truth… – Ritcherd 1991!]
[…yes, Maybe… – Ritcherd 1992]
[My god… full circle… – Ritcherd 1996]
[Firstly, the diary is very interesting and, to me, mainly emphasises a lot of what I already know, like: you are confused, mixed-up, not knowing what you really want, etc. But I won’t go on about that, because you don’t need me to tell you.
What I will say is that I compliment you on your loyalty to Flash + his girlfriend. I mean, you are able to be really happy for them whilst at the same time being jealous as hell because, I think, secretly, or perhaps openly, you want Flash all to yourself. He seems to be the only person you can possibly get really close to, which, in a way, is a pity because you seem to have so much love to give to your friends + family but seem unable to show this. I blame it on your obsession with music to some extent, but I may be biased (and I am not being sarcastic). What I mean is, that when you get really mad + frustrated you feel alone because Flash is not there and so you turn to music, which does not help you much as you play depressing music to suit your mood. Why not turn to your mother? Or Jenny? Or any friend? I mean, it’s not as if you are short of friends, is it?
However, perhaps I have got it wrong; music may help you but I find it very difficult to comprehend how doting on particular music/bands/people/etc can solely help. It just seems to make you wish you were like them, i.e. rich + famous?? But again, I’ve probably got it all wrong.
Basically, your diary consists of Flash, music and girls, which are all connected with love. This suggests you have feelings, etc, inside you that you can’t seem to let go of. Are you scared? If so, what of? Rejection? I promise you, you won’t be rejected if you only let go of yourself. What you seem to do is only let people know half of what you are thinking, leaving the rest for them to guess at, which is frustrating. I am judging from my own experience, e.g. my infamous lectures about your moods. I am sorry about that, etc, but if you had attempted to explain yourself, I wouldn’t have gone on so! It might be only me that thinks this, so don’t take too much notice of it, okay?
I have probably read the diary from the completely wrong angle + my interpretations and quick + brief analysis are probably completely wrong, but there you go.
My main advice (I flatter myself – why the bloody hell should you want my advice anyway?), is to just try and be yourself and take each day as it comes, without trying to plan what and how you intend to be like during 1987. You are a great person, with an intelligent and interesting mind, so why plan to make yourself different?
By the way, you will be pleased to know that I am no longer madly + passionately in love with you + stuff like that. I am just pleased that we are friends, and there will always be a part of me reserved for you. By the way, why did you let me read your diary? I’m flattered!
Well, I’m going to bed now.
Lots of love
Alison Ford, 1987 x]
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NEXT TIME: ‘1987…’