Today, after some very intense ‘massaging’with Angie Jones, I returned home and watched The Monocled Mutineer starring the brilliant Paul McGann, which was very good.
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
I’m sitting here reading Ritcherd’s Pervy books and having pervy suggestions thrown at me by Master Perve himself.Oh well, I suppose it’s better than watching Dynasty – or is it, readers?!
Golly, what an absolute bastard!
I’ve had my hair ‘grannyised’ and it looks totally shit, or as spazmo would say ‘shaight’ (naff, eh?).
I’ve just been told to jump up and down and shout ‘Wooloomooloo’.
Not a pleasant sight, but poo, anyway.
Well, chiddies, farewell, and don’t have too many perv-sexy dreams about naughty things, OK?
Angie x
Later:
Written Conversation Between Ritcherd and Angie:
Ritcherd:
Hello, Dearest Angie, Darling-Pie, etc…how are you?I’m v. chuffed that you could make it today! X
Angie: Make what?You Perve!
Ritcherd:
Nothing that interesting!!!
Angie: Boring!
Ritcherd:
Wot’s boring?!
Angie: You saying that!
Ritcherd:
Well, I do apologise if I’ve offended you in any way!
Angie:
No, you silly spazmo.I meant…Oh, never mind.
Ritcherd:
Let’s start another conversation.Are you comfortable?
Angie: Yes, thank you.
Ritcherd:
So am I.Perv, eh?No, I didn’t think so either!Let’s go and jump up and down smeared from head to foot in semolina + shout ‘WIDGIE!’
Angie: Well, maybe not, darling, as: a) we’ve no semolina, b) it’ll make a right mess, and c) I cannot stand semolina!
If you said champers then that would have been a little more understandable.
Anyway, my real turn-on is strawberry jam!
Ritcherd:
Okay, then.Re: my last message, remove ‘semolina’ and replace with ‘strawberry jam’.Well?
Angie: Now you’re talking!
Ritcherd:
Oh.Is that all?(By the way, notice that I did not drop the book on your boobs this time!Good, eh?)
Angie: I suppose so.End of story.
Later:
‘Brand New Lover’ – Dead or Alive
Angie came down today and we listened to records and looked at porn mags and I gave her a massage, which she rather enjoyed.And so did I, as I delicately traced her pubic hair and breasts…
I also received a letter today, from Flash, my best mate.He’s sent me copies of our ‘band’ The Dead Dead’s lyrics.
Our repertoire currently consists of: ‘Hitting That Low’ (Winterfood), ‘Uncle Arthur’ (Bowie), ‘Purple (She Buries Me)’ (Gordon/Winterfood), ‘The Dead Dead’ (Gordon/Winterfood), ‘Incestuous Paradox’ (Winterfood), ‘A Walk You Take’ (Gordon) and ‘The Life and Times of Little Miss Joe’ (Gordon/Winterfood).
We’ll probably ‘release’ a demo cassette called The Sherwood Tea-Rooms and maybe get some girl backing singers called The Living!Maybe Dodo will be one of them.Things are better with Flash and Dodo now.Good!
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
My No.1: ‘A Question Of Time (Extended Mix)’ – Depeche Mode
Angie Jones and I went into Wisbech, where everybody seemed to be asking me what my exam results were.Oddly, I seem to have been a bit of a swot!Lots of people who were supposed to do far better than me seem to have done far worse, which is amazing because deep down I just thought I’d fail everything, I’d been so lazy.Now it seems lots of people who were supposed to be going to college won’t be going after all.But I will be going.Weird.
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
I returned home on the train and was picked up by my parents from Peterborough Station.The weather’s dreary and I’m not exceedingly chuffed to be back!
Oh, I rang Angie to tell her I’m back.We’re off to the pictures tomorrow!
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
Then it absolutely bucketed it down with rain today, just as it did yesterday!Soaking as I was, I visited Annie’s place of employment, Seymour’s Opticians, and chatted pleasantly with her and her colleagues, i.e. Gerry Gordon, somebody whose name I can’t remember, and Delia, the boss.Annie had brought in a Bowie magazine for me to read, which my Dad had sent on.
After I returned to my Gran’s for tea, we visited my Dad for what would be the last time on this trip to Yorkshire.He gave me a tape of some v. good stuff (Bowie, Iggy Pop, Dead Can Dance, King Crimson, Plasmatics, etc).
This evening, my Granddad Winterfood and I took Colin (Louise’s dog) for a walk in Queen’s Park and had a real heart to heart chat about my ideals and ambitions, which was very good for me.
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
Two-dimensional boxes full of faceless faces, drifting…
More part-Cocteau, part-Picasso faces, pouting from mullet-wearing heads, in pink and yellow…
Several baggy love-hearts, punctured by arrows and deflating…
A grimace…
A quiff with teeth…
A short hat balances on very tall wiggles of hair, with earrings and mullets reassuringly in attendance…
Alien faces with pug mouths and sharp ears, sharp brows…
Cocteau-like faces pouting and turning cubist, bending and warping, their noses turning biro blue…
Jippo!
Jyp
Po
Bank Holiday boredom, and I’m still at my Granddad + Grandma Winterfood’s.I didn’t do much, but I collected my rail ticket from Granddad Pritchard’s house and he mentioned that I’d done quite well in my exams…
This evening, Betty rang to see when I’m coming home.I will return home on Wednesday.
My exam results?Erm…
[CRAP!!! – Ritcherd, 1988]
I got GCE Grade C in History, English Lang, English Lit, Art + Design and Drama.
I got CSE Grade 3 in Biology, Grade 1 in Drama and Grade 2 in R.E.
[Failed typing + Maths!– Ritcherd, 1988]
I’ve done ‘well’ and won a place at Tech.I’m chuffed.And surprised, really!
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
Still at my Grandma and Granddad Winterfood’s!Well, I am now, anyway!I left Flash’s at about 12.30pm and came back for Sunday dinner, along with my Dad and Annie.
Fun, it were!
Later, we went to see Annie’s parents (Jean and Andy), and their hyperactive dog.
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
At my Dad’s today, while they were out, I listened to my new records and some of his Bowie records.
Later, we all went to the Gordons’ house; Dad and Annie to have a party with the likes of Julie, Mike and Gerry & Gerald, me to babysit Mike’s kids with Flash.Still, we went a bit mad, drinking Vodka and Lager, cos, well, we are mad!But we’ve put off mixing the last Situation tape until Christmas…
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
Louise and Kev came to my Gran’s tonight and I had a laugh with them and they gave me a tenner!We also went to see Granny and Granddad Sugden.Oh, how odd it is to think of them so old now!Louise and I spoke of exams.I’m now anticipating my O level and CSE results.I bet I fail ‘em!Panic!I reckon I’ll get C grades in: Eng Lit, Drama and Art.I’ve already got a C in Eng Lang, of course.I’ll probably get a Grade 4 in R.E. and Typing, a Grade 2 in Biology, and I’ve already got a Grade 1 in Drama CSE.I expect to fail Maths, History and Typing RSA.
I wrote a love letter to BMW today.Louise will post it…
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
Flash and I stayed in for some reason, but we still had a laugh at his home.Good ol’ Gordon Villas.
Later, I said goodbye to Gerry as Gerald took me to my Gran and Granddad Winterfood’s.My Gran was shocked at my hair!I saw Louise and she likes it.So does my Dad, whom I saw for ten minutes a bit later on.
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
Flash and I went to King’s Lynn today and had a larf, as it were, in our ‘psychobilly gear’ (so-called!).In town, we bumped into Sadie Woolf and Sue Nunn, who were chuffed with my new hairdo!
I bought The Smiths’ Hatful of Hollow and Flash bought the new Fuzzbox 12-inch + the Sputnik LP (which I already have).
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
Freddie’s been a bastard to me today, for no apparent reason.I feel sorry for Flash, being subjected to this!Freddie’s probably following Betty’s lead of picking on me cos she’s pressured by all the people and dogs staying!She’s saying I’ve done no jobs while Flash’s been here, but Freddie told me before Flash arrived that I wouldn’t have to do any!And I’ve still done the washing up and stuff!Why do they insist on making me feel like I’m a bad kid?Am I such a fucking handful?I’m a bloody brilliant son and a credit to my mother – I know I am, so why does she treat me like a cock?And why does she let him treat me like a cock?I am a fucking great son.Stop being fuckers and communicate with me like a human fucking being.
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
Flash and I went into Wisbech today.We went into Andrews for tea and also had our hair cut in a kind of psychobilly / Morrissey style.Psychie style?Shaved at the back and sides with a quiff that can be backcombed and gelled to stand up quite high.It looks quite cool and also quite hard.We also saw Asda Trellis’s mob, and my CYTSH5 cassette was returned at last.
I bought a copy of Smash Hits, which was full of great things like The Smiths and Sputnik– and it looks like The Human League have been plotting a ‘comeback’…
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
Today Aunty Vi, Brian and our Jeff arrived to stay at our house for a while.Well, I say ‘our house’, but they’re actually staying in our caravan out the back.
Flash and I intended going to King’s Lynn today, but we had to stay and look after the dog, Sam, who’s also staying with us!
George Baker (Betty’s ex-husband) has gone on holiday and we’re looking after Sammy (who was ‘our’ dog when we all lived together…).So Flash and I mixed our new Situation tapes.They were good an’ all!
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.Never forget: no man is an island.If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
