The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Saturday, 20 December 1986

The Big Hard One

I am at Flash’s.  Good, eh? 

I suppose you’re all wondering what’s happening, aren’t you?  Well, I’ll tell thee.


Oh well.  I arrived at Flash’s at about 5.30pm, and we played each other our respective Situation recordings and swopped Chreestmas presents.  He bought/gave me an absolutely brilliant book for Christmas called The Big Hard One, which is the ‘best of’ Viz Comic.  This is an ‘annual’ edition of strips from the v. underground, q. Situation/bastard-style adult comik!  It’s so fucking ace!

I gave him all his presents.  He was rather chuffed.  I think…

Later on, Elliot ‘Elbow’ Barlow phoned and he abused me and I abused him, and then I apologised and took it all back, but he didn’t care cos he’s a twat!  AAARDOO!

At about 7.30pm, Flash and I were picked up by Tatty Watter, who took us to a Park High School Party at a house in Castleford, hosted by a mate of Flash’s called Gail Michaels.  Flash and I were q. moody and got pissed v. quickly at what proved to be a rather uneventful party.

Halfway thru, Flash and I decided to visit Make-Up at his mum’s pub, but when we reached it we decided to turn around + go back to the party!

In the second half, Flash attempted to ‘get off’ with Leanne Webber, and failed!  I started talking to a girl called Kate, who I think fancied me.  Did I fancy her?!  I’m not sure.  I didn’t ‘go’ with anybody, tho’, so there.

By the way, I forgot to mention that I accidentally broke a glass light-shade with my head; totally fucked Nodrog’s tape recorder; and covered him in Cherryade (he got me back, though; with Cider).

I feel great, cos I’ve met Chris Winford and all the other mates of Flash’s that I’ve heard of and listened to on Situation tapes that I wasn’t involved in.

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction.  Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.  Never forget: no man is an island.  If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July  2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on that precede it]

NEXT TIME: ‘Wasterd Head…’

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