‘Girl Afraid’ – The Smiths
I slept well at Jen’s, in spite of everything.
I decided to skive my English Literature lessons today (in for a penny, in for a pound-ing!), because Jen was. We went around town and into Kingsburger, but things between us seemed rather distant and we DIDN’T kiss at all. Why is she so distant? Why? Maybe it’s because she wanted to ‘make a move’ last night, but after what had happened at the disco, that just wasn’t on the cards. And her house was too small for us to get down and do anything on the sofa. I wish we hadn’t argued, maybe then I’d have felt bolder…
I guess I should have taken the lead, but being in her house, with her mum and sister there, I’d hoped she might at least introduce the initiative. God, I shouldn’t be so dumb, so mute. I lose all sense of language in intimate situations and fail to say or ask the obvious. I should have just said, ‘Hey, do you think it’d be okay to have sex on your mum’s sofa?’ I need to learn to be more direct. I’ve only myself to blame for not having had sex last nite. I think. But did I really want to? I sometimes think that reaching that point would damage the positive emotional tension between us. Like fucking her would ruin everything. She’s so special to me, so beautiful. I’d hate to ruin all that by being crap in bed.
‘Perfect Skin’ – Lloyd Cole and the Commotions
The Videodome held its Great Bankruptcy Party today. I wanted to go, as it’s the last day The Videodome is open, but I have lots of homework to do before this term ends. According to Mr Irvine, if I get it all finished it will go some way towards making my report look better. The party goes on till 12pm tomorrow, though! I saw Baz, my ex-‘boss’. He wasn’t sarcastic today. In fact, he was quite cheery, which is strange considering he’s losing his business and he was badly beaten in a fight at last night’s disco by someone who assaulted this girl in the loos (or so I’ve been told).
Daryl followed Alison around all day today!
Britain’s No.1: ‘The Final Countdown’ – Europe
Top of the Pops was a toss! I hate Europe and ‘Final Countdown’!
I’ve spent all nite doing Lit and TS homework!
My No.1: ‘Wave’ – David Sylvian
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NEXT TIME: ‘Last day of term…’