The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Saturday, 7 December 1985

Sexual Encounters with Miranda IV

‘You Are My World’ – The Communards


Stayed at home today. I couldn’t be bothered to venture into Wisbech, so BMW biked over to the bungalow where we kissed and masturbated each other in my bed – naked. She’s beautiful.

Mum and Freddie are away – thank god!

When BMW had gone, Cheggers rang to say that he still wasn’t sure if he could make the party.

I got ready – jingling with bangles (including the one BMW gave me) – then Dave came round, and Kath (from Freddie’s work: his ex-wife, in fact) took us to the party.

Once there, we waited half an hour for Cheggers but he didn’t turn up. We rang him and he said he’d try his best.

BMW arrived and we (as she would put it) ‘canoodled’.

‘Queen Of Las Vegas’ – B52’s



As the evening went on I got extremely pissed and started to cry because Cheggers hadn’t turned up – and then he did! This sobered me up a bit, so we went to the pub and bought some fags. When we returned, I drank more – and more, and more, and more.

I ended up sitting in the bog, puking my little heart out!

BMW was really worried and wanted to make sure I was okay, but I told her to stay outside, as I didn’t feel it was fair on her (and I didn’t want her to see me in such a state). Cheggers came in to check on me, and tidied me up. I started to feel better, but we ended up breaking the loo roll holder, and once out of the bathroom we fell down the stairs! This didn’t really help me, so I ended up puking some more and falling asleep.

Miranda watched over me.

I awoke at about 11.45pm and tried to sober up.

Miranda’s mum came to pick us and Noreen up, and drove me home. I felt disgustingly ill.

(Actually, the seat I was in had, as a matter of fact, just been sat in by Mrs Gillick, the woman who goes on about under-age sex a lot.)

At home (alone, as Mum and Freddie were in Ponty), I puked in the sink and went to bed listening to The B-52’s’ Whammy album.

OLD DIARY ENTRIES…
This time 4 years ago:
‘Watched Blake’s 7: Orbit
…It was okay.’

This time 2 years ago:
‘I got Return of the Jedi Weekly 26.’

This time last year:
‘I went to the dentists and then school. Shucks! Stu and I have been invited to a Christian Christmas Party. Tonight, I babysat at Tracey’s.’

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative and contextual purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

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