The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Saturday, 30 November 1985

Miranda's Party

‘Kick In The Eye’ – Bauhaus

I awoke bright and early (11.15am or so) and played more Propaganda.

I spent two hours in the bathroom, teaching my body to work properly. It’s learning.

Jazz rang to report that Cheggers couldn’t meet with Dave and ourselves in WH Smith’s at 3pm, but would arrive at about 6pm. Jazz said he’d try and meet us at 3pm, but as he was depending on a lift from Cheggers’ mum, it’d probably be 6pm.

I arrived at WH Smith’s at 3.05pm, but of Dave or Jazz there was no sign. I waited 10 minutes to no avail, so I decided to wander around Wisbech. As I ponced by Tesco’s, I witnessed the aftermath of an accident: a woman in a puddle of blood, with a fair crowd around her.

[The page is stained with a smear of brown blood from Christmas Eve 1985 – Future Ritcherd]

‘Save A Prayer’ – Duran Duran

When I finally returned to WH Smith, I found Dave. I then saw Human Beatbox’s cousin (which reminded me that I had also invited Human Beatbox to the party), but he wasn’t too bothered to see me, which was disappointing.

I bought a Blancmange 7-inch (‘What’s Your Problem?’).

Dave bought a ZZ Top and a Cult 7-inch. We then went for a coffee in Tony's and chatted about girls. We agreed that it’s the girls you finished with you fancy the most…

‘Rule Britannia’ – Suzi Pinn

At 6pm, Cheggers’ mum’s car pulled up at WH Smith. We saw two silhouettes in the back. Jazz and Cheggers we presumed. But, no! It was Cheggers and Human Beatbox, with a small bottle of cider.

Where was Jazz?

We rang him and apparently he had rung my house for me and ended up making arrangements with my Mum. Jazz would catch a bus into Wisbech, which would arrive at 6.15pm. Mum would then pick him up, along with us.

We went and bought some booze, which left us with:

4 bottles of Strongbow (big)
1 bottle of Olde English (small)
4 cans of Harp

We returned to WH Smith, where Freddie picked us up at 6.10pm and drove us to the bus station where we waited for Jazz – whose bus got in at 6.45pm! The party was to start at 7pm, and Mum had cooked us all some nosh to eat before we left, so time was tight!

On returning to our bungalow, I changed clothes and we ate our Burgers and Chips. Then we set off for yon party…

'Single Life' – Cameo

When we arrived at Miranda’s house on North Brink, the place was almost empty, apart from seven girls, BMW (Miranda) and Phoebe included. And only Phoebe spoke to me!

We all grabbed a sofa in the corner (our new turf!) and Phoebe brought us all some punch, which tasted like orange squash. So we quickly moved onto the Harp and the Strongbow.

By now, BMW was talking to me, thank God. And she looked great.

Eventually, more boys arrived (among them afew that we knew, including Adam West and Tommy Edwards). We took over the record player and blared ‘Belsen Was A Gas’ about 10 times in a row – during which I almost passed out, falling and landing on the glass bottle I’d dropped at the same time. Luckily I didn’t get cut.

Dave got talking to a short, skinny, dark-haired girl called Anna, who got bored of him and moved onto Jazz (who is a short, skinny, dark-haired boy). She wanted to be fucked by him and said so. He agreed, but then she collapsed, pissed and unconscious! (She later puked all over BMW’s bed.)

Jazz and Dave then started talking to a girl called Sophie (who was really funny) and Cheggers chatted with Phoebe. Human Beatbox just drank, and ended up accidentally pouring beer all over the gas heater, permanently putting it out!

‘The Whole Of The Moon’ – The Water Boys

I went out into the vast, dark garden with BMW. We made up and kissed a lot.

Then the party got out of hand. A chair was broken, Human Beatbox smashed an ashtray to pieces, Jazz turned on the showers and to cap it all BMW’s mum found two underage people screwing in the bog. Following this, things were made to cool down, which they did and the party happily continued.

I was surprised to see Kirsty McDonald there. You might recall that I went out with her for 6 May days, shortly before Mum ‘disappeared’. She was with a boy called Jason who, quite coincidentally, BMW had once been out with. Kirsty nicely kept me abundantly supplied with cigarettes.

Human Beatbox found some more cider and gave me a few nice gulpfuls. Jazz found a bottle of Vermouth and I downed a quarter of it in one.

‘The Cutter’ – Echo and the Bunnymen

I chatted with a girl who could do a Yorkshire accent, chatted to Sophie, Eliza, Marianne, Noreen and Francesca – who gave me a kiss! I also had many chats with a girl who called me Burton, because of Ritcherd. As she was called Lou, I was permitted to address her as Bog Roll.

BMW and I eventually found a nice corner of the conservatory in which to be devilishly romantic…


This time 6 years ago:

‘I got Doctor Who Weekly 8.’

This time 4 years ago:
‘Watched the repeat of Doctor Who: Logopolis (Part One)…

…and Blake’s 7: Gold

…which was really good.’

This time 2 years ago:

‘I got the brilliant Return of the Jedi Weekly 25.’

This time last year:
‘Today was school Speech Day! No Dave today and no Joey! But that didn’t stop the rest of us having a good time chucking water over each other in the Biology lab; the best moment being when a cupful aimed at Scott Nicholas hit Angelene Hawkins instead.’

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders / While based on true life events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the 1980s, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is also non-profit and all video clips are used for illustrative and contextual purposes / No copyright infringement is intended.]

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