The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Saturday, 5 October 1985

Ritcherd Gets Beaten Up

'Computer World' - Kraftwerk

Mum and Freddie drove Martin and me up to Pontefract today, as he’s going home.

He and I walked around Ponty, but I was suddenly surprised to feel my legs giving way and the world spinning around me. I had been punched in the head by a total stranger! Martin seemed to know him, and realised my assailant was with a gang of mates, so he hurried me out of town and we headed towards Grandma Pritchard’s. Halfway there, we turned round and realised this kid and four others (about our age) were chasing us. They caught up with us near Make-Up’s old house and promptly beat us up, accusing us of coming from Knottingley.

Maybe they did it because Martin lived in Knottingley once, but it’s a bit shit to be beaten up because you’re not recognised. And I’m sure I knew one of the kids from my old school, so maybe he did recognise me and just thought I was an easy target.

We threw a few punches, but had little choice except to curl up in tight balls and wait for it to finish. Hundreds of cars passed by, but no one stopped or lifted a finger to help.

When they ran off, Martin and I looked at each other, trembling. We were both wearing white jackets, but now looked like we’d been working in a butcher’s. We were covered in blood, with split lips and black eyes – and my swollen nose isn’t as straight as it was – and all we could do was laugh at each other. We were in hysterics. And the weird thing was, it hurt more emotionally than physically.

Oh well. As Martin would say: ‘That’s life!’

We got back to Grandma’s and cleaned ourselves up. We looked terrible, but no one seemed to be very fussed about it.

I watched The Tripods, which was very good. Indeedly so!

Tonight, I went to Flash’s. He’s decorated his attic, painting over the graffiti on the green walls and changing them to the colours of the Miami Vice logo. We started a new tape, called Doctor Who and the Man From Del Monte

…and are now calling ourselves ‘Situation: Hopeless’.

This time 4 years ago:‘Watched Blake’s 7: Power.

It was great. I tape recorded it and have started drawing a comic based on this story. George has given me some pale blue A4 and I draw in the kitchen, using the breakfast bar.’

This time 2 years ago:‘I started my new school: Wetlands High. I am in Mrs Fielding’s form in the Physics lab. It’s hard to tell what the other kids are saying. I met Jabba (a ginger kid), Brundle (whose family owns stables), Danny Chegwin (who was actually christened ‘Danny’) and Rachel Baker who are all in my form. I didn’t like it, but there are some nice girls, like Tia Purdey and Colleen Dicks. We’re out in the country here, so I wish it were like The Wicker Man.

[That first month at Wetlands High School felt so much more evil than it would in later days. I came to like it, but only after a long ‘I Hate Norfolk’ campaign. Some of my first school friends that I haven’t mentioned, were Sadie Woolf, Joey, and a new boy called James Thompson (Jazz), who arrived from London just after I arrived from Yorkshire. I was also a good friend of some girls from our village: Hazel Church, Lizzie Church and Claire Stubbs. They were ‘alternatives’ and took me under their happy wings. I loved their company and had a lot of laughs with them – especially about Adam Ant’s new image…

Musically, I was into Wang Chung, Men Without Hats, Ultravox (John Foxx era), Human League, Kate Bush, Thompson Twins, Madonna, The Stranglers, Bill Nelson, Wall Of Voodoo, ABC, New Order, and The B-52s – mostly thanks to the influence of the tapes my Dad used to send me.
But overshadowing everything was Doctor Who’s 20th Birthday and the anticipation surrounding the adventure of The Five Doctors

– Ritcherd, 1990]

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on that precede it]

Special thanks to Waen Shepherd

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