‘Last Train’ – Red Lorry Yellow Lorry
My day began at Legs’ place with Legs, Ash and Jo Jordan.
We’d left The Angel to go back to Legs’ place to do lots of dope – several huge joints, in fact. It’s okay, but I don’t get much of a hit from it. Not one that’s easily distinguishable from the booze anyway… We had all wanted ACID, but it never turned up. I wanted to buy some for Portsmouth but it looks like we’re bolloxed on that one. Anyway, Jo and I were still talking loads and she’s invited me to go out for a drink with her in Dereham or Shipdham when I get back off holiday. And no doubt I shall.
‘Paint It Black’ – The Rolling Stones
It’s hard to convince myself that I’m not wasting my life. I feel as though it’s all passing me by right now, but I’m sure that deep down this limbo period is doing me some kind of good; hammering some kind of determination into my mind, however slowly. I’ll just have to try and keep my head above the water and see where the river takes me…
Rather maudlin of me, all this, isn’t it? I wish I could just fuck off and stop being a depressive bastard sometimes.
I’ve been into Wisbech today where I purchased The Lives of John Lennon by Albert Goldman for six quid, reduced from fifteen. I also bought the latest edition of the ‘really useful, I’m sure’ The Stage. There’s an Equity rate job in Leeds. I’ve applied to that.
‘Silent Spring’ – Primal Scream
Another purchase was a comic: Revolver #3.
I don’t know how I feel about Revolver now. I like the idea of it, but is it being executed well enough? I suppose it’s just a preferential thing that I hate reading Dire Straits and that Kismet thing simply because I find the artwork offensive to the eye. And Pinhead Nation seems rather self-indulgent – which is something I rarely ever accuse anything of being. Rogan Gosh could easily go that way, too. I loved the first few instalments but this one does nothing for me at all. That said, the one-off this month – Waltz – was really good and Purple Days and Dare are just brilliant.
All I can say is that I shall continue to buy it, even if only for the reason that it looks good.
I went in FOURTH DIMENSION (the record shop) anyway and they’re – sadly – closing down, so all LPs are now two quid or three for a fiver. Not bad choices, either; stuff like Kate Bush, The Cramps, Nick Cave, SWANS, and Black Sabbath all appealed to me, but in the end I bought WATERMARK by Enya (BRILLIANT), a VANGELIS compilation called THEMES, and MAXIMUM SECURITY by Alien Sex Fiend. I’m very happy about this.
Oh, and should the unlikely opportunity arise, I’ve decided I’m going to kill Mark David Chapman.
‘The Grip of Love’ – Ghost Dance
I was asked this evening how I feel things might work out for me and Miranda. ‘As they always do,’ was my reply. I don’t believe it could ever really be any other way – although a challenge or a beautiful surprise are things I’m not averse to.
‘Whatever Gets You Through the Night’ – John Lennon
Well, tonite it was Marilyn’s 18th birthday party. Marilyn’s a waitress at the pub Betty and Freddie go to and, subsequently, a great friend of Betty’s. As Betty is in stranded in Yorkshire, I had to go to the party (in Wisbech St Mary Village Hall) as the family ambassador, explaining and apologising for Betty’s unexpected absence. I didn’t really want to go. I mean, family parties and all that… And the only person I expected to know was Marilyn herself.
Well, I got there, dealt with the diplomacy, and decided it was good manners to stay for an hour so. Thus committed, I retired to the bar and downed a few lagers (I’m drinking lager at the moment because, in this hot weather, I find it more thirst-quenching than my usual bitter).
Just as I decided it was time to leave, in walked an old friend of mine – SOPHIE FISHER! Remember that name? She was at the Grammar with Miranda and I first met her almost five years ago at Miranda’s party. When Miranda and I finished in 1986, Sophie and I became close friends for a short time; she was a shoulder to lean on at that time; a pillar of support. And, despite the fact that I didn’t find her physically attractive, despite the fact that she was very much a bloke in a female’s body (the ultimate tomboy), I did almost ask her out. We drifted soon after though and only resurrected our friendship on one subsequent occasion when, in 1987, we spent a day in Wisbech with her manic nephew, William. I recall her telling me all about her ambition to become a professional footballer…
Anyway, Sophie (who went to school with Marilyn) walked in with her boyfriend, and it freaked me out a bit. Fate had brought me to this party, hadn’t it?!
‘I’m Free’ – The Soup Dragons
Before I knew it, Sophie and I were reminiscing very heavily and getting very excited about seeing each other. I don’t think I’ve been as giddily excited about seeing someone in ages. All night, we sat in the ‘disco hall’, constantly nattering on. Her boyfriend would leave us to chat most of the time, only returning from chatting with his mates to buy us both lots of drinks, which was great. Sophie and I talked about everything we could. She was originally supposed to be going to Oxford, but decided against it, intending to get a flat with her boyfriend in Wisbech and do an Open University course.
What struck me most about Sophie was that she was no longer that young tomboy I used to know; she had become a rather attractive young woman. And she’s into lots of groovy things like Acid music, The Soup Dragons (etc.) and drugs drugs drugs! We very quickly agreed to stay in touch and take a ‘trip’ together VERY soon after I get back from holiday.
She saw my beard and said she hates beards, but that mine was the greatest most perfect beard she had ever seen. My hair was in a pony and she thought the two complemented each other. In short, she loved my ‘look’. And I suppose I have evidence to back up her words. I mean… Okay, look. I don’t know how I do it, so don’t ask, but this has happened to me throughout my post-1984 life, really… Quite early on, Sophie and I were talking and it was immediately obvious to me that we had full eye contact. In fact, much of the time, I felt her eyes were ‘probing’ mine and delving deep into me. For a short, silent moment we starred deep into each other’s eyes and then she moved forward and kissed me, longingly, on the cheek.
We then continued chatting as if nothing had just happened.
About an hour later, just as her boyfriend had left us again, she looked me in the yes and kissed my cheek again, very longingly. I then turned my head slightly and we kissed each other with an open-mouthed peck on the lips. She smiled, stood and then went to join her boyfriend at the bar.
I was stunned to be honest. And happy. I think that was the most ‘erotic’, sensual ‘peck’ I’ve ever had. That’s from the boy who finds most kissing a bit dull. So, believe me when I say it was gorgeous.
As I left, a while later, she made me promise to ring her. Oh my god, I will!
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Next time: ‘A Torch for Miranda…’